The Islamic wedding ceremony is a very simple process which is not intended for showing off or praise.
The ceremony is as easy and simple as 1 2 3. 1 being find a suitable partner, 2 being find two witnesses and an Imam (not necessary can be anyone) and 3 both say “I accept”, done you’re married, now live happily ever after.
The people that do otherwise are not really doing it Islamicly. The Prophet described the most blessed marriage to be the one with the least expenditure. The best place for the marriage is in the Masjid and the best gift for a marriage is the Quran.
The above mentioned is the Islamic Wedding ceremony done.
The problem now lies in the social pressure which is applied to the individuals, the parents and families of the soon to be wed. People now a day’s try to please people to get the praise of others even if it causes pain and grief to their own. I’ll give you a true example, my friend got married couple of years go. I was his manager so I knew how much income he was on. He spent just over £40,000 on the wedding, he hired Marriot hotel and exited like a hero in a helicopter (don’t know why). Yes it was nice and even I was impressed, but I just gave him £20 as a gift as it stated no box gifts and went home. Anyways, he moved branches closer to home, I met him recently from a happy, full of life person he was the saddest person I had seen, and it wasn’t the wife. He started his life with £40,000 debt , his living conditions was tight and he could not afford to move out, he had sold his nice car and was working all hours of the day. He now regrets the way he done the wedding, and says he should have put it for the deposit of a new house. That’s what I told him before he got married; if he had listened he would have had a new house. I hope your listening?
Another story, don’t know how true it is but it ticks the right boxes. A wealthy Arab was getting his daughter married, so he wanted to impress and gain praise from the people. So what he did was he gave all the guests a gold bar each as a gift, he then went undercover to hear his praises. He heard two people talking they said “He is so rich, if he gave one gold bar he could of given us two”, haha this is what happens when you seek the pleasure of people over the pleasure of Allah.
This social pressure of “what will people say” has stopped many marriages from happening and in return the young generation leading to adultery and confusion. The traditions such as the eldest have to get married first, what happens to the young, what if the eldest doesn’t get married? The Prophets advice, get married as soon as you find a suitable partner, really simple no complexity or any other mixture of rituals or traditions.
The Sunnah (teachings of the Prophet) is simple, the Prophet cleared all these social pressures and issues in one sentence, “The most blessed wedding is the one with the least expenditure”. Simple, no short term or long term headache involved at all.